The Life of A Musiker

okay... i made a new journal... sadly some certain assholes had to get ahold of my journal, when it was originally intended for myself and close friends.

the new journal URL will be posted for only my friends to see...

so i just had the most fun ever with the Mallens and Saymo... we all had stuff that was bothering us, and i think it made us feel better. We went to the mall for a little bit then headed over to Mal's where we talked...for a long time. Props to Nora for being the coolest mom I know! (well, to me. I don't know about Christine or Michelle!)

other than that...I've really done nothing... time to watch GG...

hey homies and homos...

today was soo good, despite my tummy ache.

I feel better about everything...

sorry about the anger-driven entries I wrote yesterday...but that's how I felt, and I didn't mean to offend anyone!

so i cancelled my lesson afterschool for no reason... i'm so bad :(

band festival tomorrow...and grayson won't be there, and wachie might not be (though she says she will be!) so that leaves me for solos. Which is cool, but I don't even play the Bb in band really anymore. lol oh well.

anyway, i think i'm going to the mall with Mallen and Saymo.

They always make me feel better! :)


bonne journée!

this is rediculous.

joel this message is for you:

sorry for butting in on your journal, but i had to say what i felt, even though you think i don't know what i'm talking about. i just know for a fact what a gay person has to go through, whether you believe it or not. i was just offended, and i'll try to avoid reading your journal from now on. oh yeah, and i just left another comment, but then i decided instead of yelling at you tomorrow (which i'm sure wouldn't even phase you nor would it help anything) i'd try to be civil and leave this message here (you signed off before i had a chance to IM you)


and please, stop stating your opinons as facts.

i am naturally attracted to males, as is the rest of the gay population

you claim it isn't natural. are you God? no. you don't know everything you claim to know. just like i don't know what it feels like to be attracted to girls.

most people would be too afraid to go this far and publically talk about this, but I am happy to say that I have the most supportive group of friends I could ask for, and when people torment me or insult me for being gay (or say things not directed towards me per se, but to gay people) i can always count on them. people like you claim that there is too much support for gay people when in reality, most of the attention i get is NEGATIVE. I don't want to be treated special, either. I just want to live my life without having to worry about people pissing me off all the time who think I chose to be constantly ridiculed by kids at school and even my family.

not to beat up on you, joel, but you don't know what you're talking about. neither do the other people who claim that 'gayism' (which i think is actually a funny word, so i might use it sometimes) is a choice and impossible to inherit. are you a scientist? again the answer is no.

i wish i could turn on non-friends commenting for this entry, but if i did, i'd leave my other entries open for comments which i dont want. i dont care if you want to talk about this, but if you decide to approach me, it better not be in a rude or hostile way, or i will seriously flip out, and you don't want to see me angry (believe me.)


anyway... i don't hate the people who make these ignorant comments... but it gets to me after a while. I seriously don't care if you believe that it's wrong or you don't think gay marriage should be legal, but when you claim it is a choice and state it as fact (or even opinion) it drives me up a frickin wall. it's not a choice, i knew i was a homo when i was a kid, i was never touched as a child, nothing ever happened to me when i was young, so stop claiming those theories as true.

the end.

wow...the SSO concert was AMAZING... the best SSO concert I've ever heard. Saw a lot of people I know, and talked to the Amrheins again. I sat with KTB the 2nd half. It was soo good!!!

well the revue was alright, and we played pretty well, and my instrument worked! Except some jerks behind me were making fun of one of my friends, and calling him gay, and even if he is they don't have to make fun of him, ya know? I definitely told them to shut up and quit being immature...and they pretty much did.

And that is why I hate stageband.

Afterwards I drove peaches home and sang/screamed alanis all the way to her house!! ANGRY GIRL MUSIC ROCKS! (<3 u erin!) and then I went out to Applebees with a few people, and it was so fun. <3 you all.

ushering for the SSO concert on sunday... eww... but it's a free concert..and it's Christine's bday! SCORE.

that's all for now.

ps. I just want to thank a special someone for making me realize that "Gayism" isn't the way...you made me realize that I was living a lie. So I'll say it : I am straight. I was never gay, I just wanted the negative attention and harassment. Thanks man, I love you (LIKE A BROTHER I SWEAR)

I'm soo not looking forward to the choral review.


mainly because I have to play the sax :(

DAY OF SILENCE MEETING
ROOM 229 (MRS. WISE'S ROOM)
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16th
SEE ME OR RENÉE ANGELO FOR INFO!

COME SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR THOSE SILENCED BY BULLIES!!! (our focus is on Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Transgendered.)


we will be distributing little cards to show people with an explanation why you aren't speaking that day.

if you feel you can't be silent all day, we plan to give out pins or stickers or SOMETHING to show support. It's all free...we aren't doing it to raise money...it's to raise awareness.

DAY OF SILENCE = APRIL 13th
SCHEDULE = 45671

yay I completed my essay. Well, added quotes. which I guess makes it better.

wow. Today was...tiring, to say the least. First 3 periods (1st was practice) was the chorus review and I must say, stage band was great, except my sax kept fucking up. damn school instruments...especially the ones kids break *COUGHBENCOUGH*. The choruses... were... pretty pathetic for the most part. There, I said it. I feel bad saying that, and I don't blame them, I blame Roberty for putting together a crappy show. I do think the soloists were great though! And Dan's was highly entertaining, with the bird and all. I just feel bad for the chorus members who are dragged into this...which I assume is 99%...

I was dragged into stageband, and I HATE IT. I wish he would kick me out. I'm sick of Bunnell, anyway. He's been a bitch lately!]

okay TIME FOR HOMEWORK... and I still haven't finished my stuff due on friday. Oh well........


PS. about the rumors...please stop them. it's none of your business, nor is it any of mine.
and about the ignorant people who have something to say about who have no idea what's going on... please stop that as well. It offends ME and I'm not even involved.

that title means... "I LOVE BROKEN GLASS!"

don't ask.

anyway, today was iight... I was late to school cuz of the damn traffic...god I was at the stop sign in the parking lot for like 8-10 minutes...it was rediculous!

Today was so bipolar. It started off warm and rainy, then it SNOWED AND ICED EVERYWHERE. What the hell. Then after rehearsal (which was pretty good) it was all sunny again. But still freezing.

I MISS YESTERDAY'S WEATHER.

o man..today I did NOTHING after rehearsal... I played video games and watched TV and ate... I didn't do anything important... and tomorrow is that fucking chorus review so I have to miss THREE PERIODS including English and Creative Writing! (French isn't a big deal to miss) but I missed English the other day. So now I have more shit to do. Damn. Oh and I just remembered I have that seminar card due.

FUCK IT. I'll turn it in when I feel like it...

I'm back to my old ways. My good mood only lasted until this morning.

quel dommage...

Today an incredible amout of weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I talked to the school psychologist, Mrs. Daley, and for over an hour I talked about life and what was going on in my head. It helped to get a lot of things off my chest, and she made me realize that certain emotions I thought didn't exist anymore do, in fact, still exist. I missed all of english, so I went to Mrs Moorefield afterschool and asked for more time on my Like Water For Chocolate project, and I told her my essay was terrible. Without asking her for it, she gave me UNTIL NEXT MONDAY to do the Like Water For Chocolate project and FRIDAY for my essay!!! I asked for one or two days, and she gave me a lot more. I feel so guilty though, because I should've gotten it done in the first place. But man, I feel a lot better now. Now I have no excuse to slack off :(! hehe.

But besides all that good stuff, I heard a great deal of talk today, and I wish it would stop.

ps....later today I might take a joy ride in my convertable with the top down because it's so nice out.
pps... dad is on a business trip apparently going to be in the same room with the president... which means he is gone until thursday. YES.

time fo' a lesson

I watched Queer Eye For The Straight Girl today, and I feel like becoming a straight girl, cuz they made it look cool.

So from now on, I'm a straight girl. It's my decision. Don't patronize me.

so i just wrote the worst essay I've ever written.

There is no textual support

it is all a stretch

it is extremely redundant

and I don't care. that's all she's getting from me.

And all I'm getting from her is a failing grade :(

oy.

IT IS.

anyway, I just got back from the variety show. It was okay. Last year was so much better. This year it was really unorganized and the acts were kinda sucky, except for like 3 or 4. Rachel and I criticized like everyone haha. it was fun. Then I met up with Kate and her roomate Elizabeth and Matt at Ruby's. I brought Andrew Woj, who "invited himself" (except not really) and it was good times. The car ride there with Andrew was very theraputic, especially when I cussed out Eva Weese for not letting me go when it was my turn in the parking lot. 'twas quite hilarious as I screamed in my car with Andrew laughing at me. In any case it was nice to chat with Kate and Matt again, except for when Kate told me "stoical" wasn't a word. BUT IT REALLY IS!!!
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=stoical

adj. also sto·i·cal (--kl)

1. Seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by pleasure or pain

DON'T MESS!
bwahaha.

Anyway, overall a fun night, even though there was some hard times for some of my friends. More fucked up shit has been happening, and it's getting out of control. I'm here for support, but I am not going to get too involved. All I care about is the well-being of my friends. <3

variety show tonight... every year I've gone, and every year it's gotten better... hope it's good this year!

hmm, I didn't think I would have to do it, but I've disabled anonymous comments, because some dumbass had to say shit.